Your query letter doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to be good enough to generate interest. And the shorter and more concise your query letter is the better.
(*It is with great appreciation and thanks to Jane Williams that I am able to reprint this query letters here in full).
Read this query letter. Study it and see how it was put together. It is worth pointing out that Jane had no previous writing credits to her name when she sent her query letter out.
At this point in time, Jane has done an incredible job. She is now both working in the film industry, working with script agents and producers to turn her stories into movies.
A lot of people are under the false belief that once they sell their screenplay it is guaranteed to be turned into a movie. The sale of your script, is, unfortunately, only the beginning of the development process. In fact, the reality of the film industry is such that you are much more likely to sell your screenplay than to ever see your movie up there on the silver screen.
It’s certainly not impossible and many people have their scripts turned into movies/TV shows, but the planets of celebrity, budget constraints, location and time all have to align perfectly for the Hollywood machine to kick into gear and create an actual movie/TV show.
The full intricacies of why this is so are beyond the scope of this post, but a simple search on Google (or some other search engine) will provide you with much more information if you are interested in the economics of Hollywood.
Now, to get back to our main focus which is how to write a great query letter. Lets start by taking a look at Jane’s query letter. Jane sent her query letter out in September 2013. Her query letter is reprinted below in full exactly as we sent it out.
Jane Williams’ Query Letter
Dear [agent’s name],
I am currently seeking representation for my screenplay TURNING FORTY.
Genre: Romance/Drama
Set in Dallas, TURNING FORTY tells the story of a group of friends as they try to make sense of the modern dating world. Having to deal with everything from bar hook-ups, online dating, speed dating and blind dates, we go on a romantic and eventful journey with these single men and women as they navigate the murky waters of the modern dating world.
Amidst all this, a recently married couple, Jack and Jacqueline, are sought out for advice and support by their single friends who are all trying to find “the one”. Despite all their set-backs and sometimes disastrous dating experiences, we find ourselves rooting for these people as they try to find love and happiness in a world of crazy dates and endless possibilities.
If you are interested in reading the full-length screenplay, TURNING FORTY, please let me know and I will send you a copy of the script.
Kind regards,
Jane Williams
The value of the query letter you have just read is enormous.
It’s worth at least $120,000 (the amount Jane received for selling her script). Not to mention the hidden benefits Jane received such as the launch of her writing career all through finding representation with a well-known agent.
If done correctly, a great query letter is no longer just a bunch of words on a page, it is magically transformed into an extremely powerful resource of tremendous value.
(It is worth noting that Jane didn’t include an author’s bio in her query letter. Although this is not best practice, I can’t fault her for this as her query letter was ultimately successful. However, the question must be asked: would Jane’s query letter have been more successful with the inclusion of an author’s bio? The answer I would lean toward is yes. Our own research here at Script Mailer indicates that query letters that include a well-written author bio have a significantly higher response rate. It’s something to think about. Maybe not necessary, but I don’t recommend leaving it out altogether.)
As was mentioned in the previous post, Mike Richards sent his query letter to both script agents and producers, receiving a positive response from a well-known producer two weeks later. Let’s take a moment to look at Mike’s query letter.
Mike Richards’ query letter
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Dear [agent/producer’s name],
I am looking to collaborate with you on a movie that has huge profit potential.
Genre: Thriller/Adventure
This is a movie based on The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Unlike the original story, this movie is set in present day America and the story is a modern day adaptation of Dumas’ classic tale of revenge.
I have written numerous articles for online and national publications. I also have extensive experience working within the film industry and have developed products from creation to launch phase.
If you are interested in a productive, profitable and rewarding collaboration, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
(Note: The Count of Monte Cristo is a novel in the public domain.)
Sincerely,
Mike Richards
(number and email withheld)
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One look at this query letter tells you that Mike did his research here. He found out that the novel was in the public domain (which means he doesn’t need to get the original author’s permission to start work on an adaptation). What also helped Mike’s cause was the fact that he spoke the language of a Hollywood producer.
Success Tip: Sell Your Idea
Producers are essentially businessmen, not necessarily film lovers or movie-buffs. A producer, more often than not, is in the money-making business and Mike appealed to a desire for profit more than anything else in his query letter.
Mike also mentions that he has extensive experience working within the film industry. When I asked Mike what his experience was his response shocked me:
“I used to put together flyers and promotions for local video stores in San Francisco. Although I never officially worked in the “industry,” I was technically working in the industry. I was still affiliated with Hollywood, even though I wasn’t actually in Hollywood.”
I had to laugh when I heard Mike’s response. Of course he’s technically correct. He does have experience working in the film industry. Though it might not be the experience the producer was expecting. Nevertheless, Mike’s query letter opened doors for him. I asked him what he meant when he said he had worked on products from “creation to launch phase?”
“That’s a reference to the flyers I used to put together. I helped create those flyers, selecting the graphics and writing those catchy headlines. Then I sent them out to the local community. That’s the launch phase.”
I wondered what the producer first thought of Mike when they sat down in a room together to discuss Mike’s movie idea. In Mike’s own words:
“The producer was a real friendly guy, but I could tell he was one of those hard-nosed businessmen. He was really interested in one thing and one thing only. How can we turn this idea into a profitable film as effectively as possible. He didn’t care that I had no hands-on experience, I had the idea. To him, that was the seed of something great. I think the fact that I was profit-driven and thinking about the bottom line really helped him feel comfortable doing business with me. We were effectively on the same page.”
Now you might be reading this and think: it’s not fair. Mike Richards hasn’t written anything. He hasn’t even written a single screenplay. The reality of the industry is this—Mike doesn’t have to. He’s probably never going to be a screenwriter, and is much more likely to end up becoming a producer than a writer. The point is to demonstrate the power of the query letter when it comes to opening doors.
Some of you might also be wondering why the Hollywood producer didn’t just steal Mike’s idea after reading his email. It’s a good question. And as we’ll explain in the next post on protecting and copyrighting your work, you don’t have anything to worry about.
*Jennifer Sloane has worked as a screenplay agent in Los Angeles and Nashville for the last five years. Jennifer loves good movies, music and animals. A former television and movie executive, Jennifer currently heads business development at Script Mailer (a company that connects screenwriters with agents and producers in Hollywood).